Short Order Cook? Simple Tips to Stop Preparing Multiple Meals and Get UNSTUCK
I know you have tons of mom guilt because you want your kids to eat healthier, eat the same foods that you’re eating but often you just give in and serve them 'kid food'.
Right?
When you fess up about your situation, that you’ve become that short-order cook your friends and family just advise you to just stop doing it, go cold turkey.
But that's so much easier said than done.
In this episode, I give you some actionable tips to break out of this cycle.
Transcript of the Episode
Hi, friends, it's Andrea here with another episode of adventures and feeding my fam, I have a very important question for you. Are you a short order cook? Are you making separate meals for yourself and for various family members? Now the experts say not to do this. But once you're in that rut, and in the habit of doing that, how do you actually stop doing that, because just going cold turkey doesn't really feel like an option once you've got this habit established in your house. So I'll give you some practical, actionable tips to transition out of this stage. And it'll be more advice than just just stop doing it. So I had a wonderful woman join me the other day for a discovery call. She was lovely. And she was just so so frustrated. Even before she started talking, I kind of knew how the conversation was going to go. She told me about how she tried every single diet out there and that a lot of them worked for a little while, but then, you know, she would gain weight back and she was trying to get healthy. And you you know the story, I'm sure many of the listeners out there can relate to this situation. So the reality is, is that if these various diet options worked, then why would there be so many different diets? If there was one that actually worked? Then there would just be that one, right? So that's why when I work with people, I really aim to get to the bottom of things. Figure out what's holding them back. Do you believe you can be successful? Why not? Do you self sabotage your efforts, if so why? And once we understand the whys behind these and the why nots, then we can build back your habits, your mindset, the way you think of food in a totally new way, a better way. I'm always available to talk to you more on a free discovery call. I love meeting listeners. And I love meeting the people that come and join me for these discovery calls. And we start to talk about how you can map out a plan of how you can change your habits once and for all for good, and how I can help you. The link for that will be in the show notes. adventures and feeding my fam is a weekly podcast discussing the challenges and fun around feeding your family healthy meals. I'm Andrea Heyman, and I've been a registered dietitian for over 25 years. So I know the importance of good nutrition. But I'm also a mom of three so I understand the challenges and humor that comes along with trying to make this happen. In this podcast, I'll share my tips, tricks and menus, but also share the stories and food prep failures that come along the way to interview guests, we'll discuss family food traditions, how to strengthen bonds around the family table, as well as their favorite family recipes. There isn't one right way to feed your family. But there are countless stories, you can take bits and pieces and learn from all of them. So I know you have tons and tons of mom guilt, because you want your kids to eat healthier. You want your kids to eat the foods that you're eating. But for some reason you've gotten in this cycle, and you don't really even know how it happened. But you've gotten in this cycle where you're making a totally different meal for your kids than what you make for yourself. And I honestly don't know one single person that does this, and is not a little bit resentful. But here's the situation once you fess up about your situation and tell your friend, your family member, that you've really become a short order cook, the only advice that you get is just to stop doing it. They tell you up, go just stop doing it. And it's really, really hard to picture just doing that because as a mom, you worry that your child is going to go hungry. And that is absolutely not what we want. So let me tell you a story. My daughter when she was about four years old, we totally had gotten into this habit. I don't even know how it started or how he got there. But she was the only person in the household who would request a different food at different meal for dinner. And it was I swear it was like every night and it was so maddening to me because I felt like we were wasting food because we would serve her kind of the family meal and then she would ask for something else. I think she was around four or five or Something and one day I hadn't planned it to do this, but I basically said, Nope. This is what we're having for dinner. And this is the choice. There aren't any 05:12 other choices. Andrea Heyman 05:13 Now, what I did for her is I separated everything. So we're having like a curry dish. You guys know how I love curries, I always make them. We're having a curry dish with, let's say carrots, broccoli and tofu in there. And then we had rice. Well, I know she likes right. So I put rice in one bowl like a separate bowl. And I know she eats carrots. So I picked out only carrots and put it in one bowl. And then I know she's broccoli. So I did the same thing with broccoli. So there was rice, a bowl of carrots, and a bowl of broccoli all sitting on the table. For her. They were all things she enjoyed. Now the flavoring probably was a little bit different than she was used to. And I didn't I don't think at this meal, I served her any of the tofu. Oh boy, did she pitch a fit, she was crying. She was crying. She made my husband's so uncomfortable that he actually left the table. He was like rummaging in the other part of the kitchen. And he was so uncomfortable with this. But she literally sat there and had the tent, a tantrum, sitting at the table. She didn't leave but a huge old tantrum. And we kind of went along about our business. And finally she stopped. And lo and behold, she ate the rice. She ate the carrots, and she ate the broccoli. And then she proceeded to say, sorry, Mom, I actually liked it, and then left, we were just dumbfounded. But afterwards, my husband said to me, he's like, you're kind of mean. And I remember thinking I really wasn't mean, I didn't do anything that was mean. But I didn't give in to what the request was. So actually, I kind of went cold turkey. However, I knew that the food choices that I was serving her were items that she would like. So let me tell you, what are some of the downsides to being a short order cook. So first of all, it prioritizes and legitimize his kid food. So we don't want our kids to grow up on pizza, chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. It's not the most nutritious, and we want them to have more balanced foods as well. But in this situation, when we are constantly giving into those requests and giving them those foods, we're really legitimizing those as kind of the preferred better choices. Another downside is that it allows children to control the meals. And I don't want to use control in like a super, super negative way. But what I want the listeners, all of you guys to understand is that you as a parent are in charge of what the food choices are. And it's really your child's responsibility to decide how much and when they're going to eat. This is kind of the healthy Parent Child feeding relationship. And in the vast majority of cases, this is this is successful. Keep in mind, there are certain situations, that does not work as well. But that's a whole nother story. Okay, so the next reason why being a shorter cook is really, really not helpful is that you cut off their exposure to a variety of foods and flavors. And I know that as parents we like I said before, we want our kids to eat a variety of foods, but also a variety of flavors as well, just so that their world is opened up to lots of choices. And finally, like I said before, I don't know one single short order cook and parent that isn't a tiny bit resentful, because it takes a heck of a lot of time, uses more food and often wastes food as well. The question really becomes how do we get out of this rut? Now there are a few steps. And what I can tell you the first thing is that I suggest that when you are planning meals that you make sure that at least one choice at each meal that every family member will eat. So if you're making salmon, broccoli and rice, you know that your oldest son will definitely rice, you know that your younger son will definitely eat salmon. So they've got at least one choice that is there that is available to them so that you know no one's gonna go starving and super hungry as their palates open and broaden. This meal planning process becomes a little bit easier. But I would say make sure that each family member has a food choice. That's being Served that they definitely will eat. When you're planning those meals, get those kids involved. If they feel like they have some say, there's some buy in there. Now, you can give some guidance to promote a healthy balanced meal. My guess is that if you've got younger children, they're going to say mac and cheese or chicken nuggets, that's okay, you can have chicken nuggets in one of your meals that the entire family is going to eat. But you want to balance it out with other items that are a little bit more nutritionally balanced in berries. So maybe you're going to have a side salad, or maybe you're going to have some carrots with that something of that nature, and not just the chicken nuggets, definitely try serving your food family style, so that your kids have access to the choices that you've selected. But they also have control over how much they eat. And I really, really strongly recommend that you eat as a family. Eating as a family is beneficial in so many ways. And in fact, that's an entire podcast episode that now that I'm thinking about it, I think I have an entire episode about that. But as it relates to getting kids to kind of branch out, they need to see that you are trying the foods that you're wanting them to eat you, they need to see that you have a positive relationship with food, and that you are comfortable also, putting all of these things into your mouth and into your body, you are really the ultimate role model. Also, when you're together, you can create a relaxed, enjoyable atmosphere. And that is so conducive to trying new foods and allowing kids to become confident eaters. And finally, I recommend creating some structure. So this can involve a few things. So not getting up from the table right away. So they have to sit at the table until everybody's finished, you get to decide what your rules are at the table. But I would be consistent with them. And that consistency is what is really the key here. I am okay with having like a one bite rule, requiring everyone to try one bite of all the foods that are served at the meal. But if you're going to do that, I want you to do that in a non pressured way. So that you don't had stress and like a tense environment to your family table because that's the last thing that we want. So those are my tips. So let me know which one worked for you the best. I'd love to see if these were helpful for you to get out of that rut of being a short order cook. share this with a friend because I know that you have a friend that is stuck in this situation. And so let them know that the podcast is here. And we are supporting everyone in the effort to feed your family. Well. If you liked this episode, definitely rate in review and subscribe. And do not forget those discovery calls. Because the reality is is that you need to be able to feed yourself well as a mom as a parent before you can even feed your family well. Until next time, take care